stretching me . . .

It has been a strange few weeks in a number of ways
Creating community, moving to a new house, welcoming guests, being welcomed as new members of a neighborhood, getting calls from old friends from out of the blue, connecting with people in all sorts of strange ways, but mostly for me it has strange that I feel I have moved a couple of “clicks” in my vision both of what I am doing and what is going on around me.

Simply put – I am being stretched in ways that I did not imagine or even consider.

You could stop reading there if you like – or stay with me for a few examples.

I have been reading “Don’t Think of the Elephant”
Alongside "The Rapture Exposed"
And "A Million Little Pieces"
(which at least helps me focus on something else)

I am a liberal, twin cities girl, with a background in English, German and team building living in a math/science culture with a high regard for conservative religion and conservative politics (very few of whom happen to speak german)

So I have been though the drill of convincing myself that there are others like me here, and then to the position that there is no on e like me here and I have now found myself at a turning point.

Of course I had the grandiose ideas that I was coming to give this community their salvation – what mission developer doesn’t have a little of that in them? I realize how backwards I can be sometimes – and I find myself watching and listening to the voice of God calling for change in me. I am also here to listen and to learn and to grow.

Who would have thought the queen of generalizations would be called into a community of scientists and mathematicians? Who would consider that a young woman would be called into a community, which holds the premise that we need a “father-figure” to rule over us?

So I am learning, and leaning and connecting and finding my way, finding God’s garden in the scientific world. Does anyone have a good reference to Quantum Physics?

body prayer

I have been working my way through the book Body Prayer

For someone who is a spiritual leader, prayer has never been high on my list of gifts, mostly because I need to move around. We have been taught to sit still and pray – and I have found in my life that I listen better – and process better – with some kind of movement.

This book is a great example of how we can live our lives more fully in prayer. Doug and K.P. take you through a series of prayers and prayer postures, which can help to guide and enhance how we pray.

I have been able to take these postures and prayers use them in my daily practices (putting lotion on my hands, yoga postures, surfing, how I sit or stand when I talk with others . . .) and they have become reminders both of God’s presence and that I can pray in all that I do.

We so often think that when we pray we need to drop everything and concentrate only on that one thing – and while I think that is a wonderful way to practice a prayer life – it has never completely fit for me.

Check it out – it’s a great resource.

read a book, share a story

I had a conversation with my sister the other day about books. Well, it was actually about her coming to visit in a few months and her comment went something like this –

“I might stay for something like 10 days, but you don’t have to worry if you get sick of me, you can just go do your own thing. I have learned to be able to entertain myself. I can read books”.

Now, this may sound completely normal to you, but my sister is an extremely, extreme extravert. She is very intelligent – and it wasn’t until this point that I realized that she really never liked to read books. (one of those things that I inherently know, but it was never really that important to think about). Then she went on to tell me about a book she has been reading (a million little pieces). She has now read it at least 3 times and she wants to read it again. “It is so good” she says. And now she insists that I read it, so she can talk to me about it.

My husband Tim has also been doing more reading lately. He reads a lot of stuff by and about Lance Armstong – but his latest favorite has been a book about the spiritual journey of U2. “We should all read this and then listen to the music and discuss” he says to me and our housemates.

As for me – I love to read – but I have been wondering lately about the necessity of all of us needing to read the same things. What happened to story telling? Why can’t someone just tell me about a book and then we can talk about what that means for what we think and how we see the world? Why do I have to read everything? I guess there is something to this shared experience stuff.

When Tim and I first got married we went through this devotional book together. Neither of us liked it, but we thought that we needed to be attentive to our spiritual life. When we finished that first book, we picked up another – but this one was not a devotional book (per se) instead it was “A Walk in the Woods” by Bill Bryson. I read to Tim every night until we finished that book – and then we read another. There was something about that time we had together that was meaningful and interesting and very spiritual for us. We share now that story as part of our lives together. And what it did for us was raise our awareness of those things we thank are important, and opened up places for us to discuss our beliefs, concerns, dreams and even our faith.

I guess shared stories come in a variety of forms in the different stages of our lives together. It has been a good reminder for me about various ways to live these stories of our lives and learn more about one another. It is another way to open doors to our souls.

Read a book! Share a story

our friend Adam (our first visitor here!) 

the october times

In the following pictures you will see a few of the places that we have been and things we have been up to.

They are not in chronological order - but they all are from the last 2 weeks.

Tim and I went to Hawaii to see the Ironman. It was amazing for both of us to see these people working hard! And then to be able to spend time on the Big Island and learn about the history ecology of Hawaii. It was moving for us both.

When he got back our friend Adam called to say he was in town for a conference so we managed to have dinner with him - and a short tour of San Diego.

Tim's brother Jon also had a conference (in LA). We went to pick him up and then Tim and Jon went right to the beach to surf. It was a cold day - -I stayed home and made soup.

The next week I was in Palm Desert with leaders in the Pacifica Synod. I was commissioned - along with 2 other colleagues - for our work in new ministry starts.

It has been a whirlwind adventure these past few weeks – and we are looking forward to being able to explore more of this part of the country, – not to mention having visits from friends and family.

palm desert 

Tim and Jon (Tim's brother) coming in after surfing 

Faris - beginning the run 

watching the sunset the night before the ironman 

akaka falls near Hilo, Hawaii 

Peace

"Responsibility does not only lie with the leaders of our countries or with those who have been appointed or elected to do a particular job. It lies with each of us individually. Peace, for example, starts within each one of us. When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us". - the dalai lama

if you get a chance - the last song on jennifer Knapp's "lay it down" album is called "Peace".

What we do . . .

My husband, Tim, suggested to me the other day, how nice it would be to come into work in the morning (when he is still half asleep) and see an email with a reminder of our faith journey. I know a number of pastors and ministry cultivators send out daily devotions. And kudos to them. It is a difficult discipline. I am not sure I could keep up the pace. Although, I agree a quote and a bible verse or a song or a word (one simple word) is a great reminder in the morning - as we start our day - what it is that we value and who it is that we are.

a thought
quote
phrase
song
scripture

(any or all of the above) for the day. I think that working together we could create something simple. So suggestions are more then welcome, they are humbly requested.

Here are some thoughts for today . . .


"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit" - Aritsotle

Ephesians 5
1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children . . .

15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.


Peace to you . . .

green and blue

This last week has been amazing for me. Monday I got a ton of paperwork out of the way, Tuesday and Wednesday this week were great. I got to meet some wonderful people. I met a woman who is thrilled to be able to be included in planting a church, I got in contact with a guy who is a triathlete and who's wife grew up at this church that is supporting me, I made great connections with other churches in the area who want me to come and work with their congregations . . . good contacts, great meetings, fun ministry opportunities, and not to mention some great workouts!And then yesterday afternoon I started to feel a little sick and last night and this morning I have been going over the "requirement" stuff for new ministry starts and now I am feeling lousy not only with this cold, but with all the stress of the things I think I need to/"should" get done.

So I am naming this day - the green and blue day - green for being sick and blue for being stressed. On the upside, the remedy that has seemed to work for this kind of cold (at least according to Tim and Jeff) is some vitamin D, and a good salt water gargle, along with enough time to make sure everthing is flushed out properly. In other words -
"Surf's Up!"
Not to mention how that might help with stress in general.

The Santa Anas are here - so it is a hot day - and good to be in the water.

security? 

objects are not as close as they appear. 

Seeing Lance

I just got back from an exciting trip 5 miles south to the beautiful parking lot of Scripps Hospital where I waited for 2 hours to see Lance Armstrong. (They were an hour behind in their schedule) What a dork! (I mean me). The Tour of HOPE(http://tourofhope.com/toh/2005_events/scripps.htm) to raise cancer awareness started here in San Diego today. It was great to go and chat with people and be with others who are working to raise awareness. We all are touched by cancer somehow. But in truth - although I hate to admit it - I went to see Lance.

Now I am not generally one to get real excited about seeing famous people. Although I have had a few strange encounters. Tim and I used to report Dan Neil sightings to each other when we would see him running around New Brighton. But Lance Armstrong seemed like a good person to make an effort to go see. And that was what I got to do - see Lance. (And you can too - later today I will post a few pictures I got.)

I guess not everyone has that chance to catch a glimpse of one of his or her heroes in the flesh. I guess it could be a big deal. For me, the big deal was the conversations I had with the people around me. Now if Lance was one of those people - then that would have made my day/week/month - I think after a month it would be pretty much worn off. For now, I am glad that I got to have some good conversations with some neat San Diegans.

Another learning experience . . .

enjoying life 

humility

Tim and I attended a nearby church community last Sunday night. The question for the evening that we were asked to talk with our neighbors about was "when have you recently experienced humility". My first thought was "Right Now?! You expect me to tell people I don't know where my weakness is!" and then it hit me . . . surfing. Yes, surfing makes me humble.

I have had the wonderful opportunity to go surfing a few times in the past week - once in the fog (which was cool and eerie at the same time) and once last weekend - when I actually had Tim push me into the waves. It was that extra push that really helped - I stood up a few times. It also helped that our friends Jeff and Kerri were there and Kerri was standing up and I would think - Hey - why am I not doing that.

Anyway - back to the humility. When Tim and I surfed in the fog - I got pounded a few times. One would think that a person who swims as much as I do would be fine in the water, but the waves (as fun as they are to ride) can really punish you for not paying attention, and not reading them well. (For those who would like to read a "church" analogy into this one feel free).

So the attempt at surfing this past week was humbling. Knowing there is yet another thing that I don't do well (yet). Learning respect for the surf (which any good surfer would tell you is part what it is to surf), feeling the necessity of added help to succeed, and a reminder that every new thing takes time and practice.

Yes, every new thing takes time and practice (and lots of times - patience and prayer).

It has been a good reminder for me this week to look into those things that I could practice more, where I need patience and that it is not me who is in control, I am just trying to ride the wave.

Considering the Storms

There was a storm in Minnesota a few nights ago that affected many people that I know. Trees down, power out, damaged roofs and yards, just minor things. No one I know was hurt, although I did hear about one man who died while walking down the street and a tree fell on him. My heart goes out to his family and friends.

Rita is on her way to the coast – we don’t know when or where. There is already damage to the repairs that have been started in New Orleans.

I have friends and family that work for the Red Cross who are weary from Katrina, are coming home to clean up from the storm in MN and then will likely be back to work in the wake of Rita. It is a hard and tiring time for them. This is the life work that have chosen to do - and God bless them that they reach out their lives and hands to others. As I consider this work, it seems to me that more of us should be in on it. In fact isn’t it our calling as people of God to be a part of the care of creation? (Meaning people, the earth, cleaning up our messes . . . )

We are trying to figure out, here, how we can best help with the reconstruction of lives from the devastation of Katrina and possibly Rita, while still paying attention to the Tsunami victims. So much loss in the past few months. It is sad that it takes natural disasters like these to get our attention . . . it's not like there is not devastation everyday with disease, hunger, tyrannical governments and policies.

On the upside, in the wake of these disasters, there is an element of soul cleansing - people really reach out and help one another, the goodness of humanity is shown in a number of ways, and we are forced to take a close look at who we are, and what we have done (and left undone). This seems to lend some new meaning to the confession that many Lutherans repeat at the beginning of a worship gathering.

(Lutheran Book of Worship, p.56)
Merciful God,
We confess that we are in bondage to sin and cannot free ourselves, we have sinned against you in thought, word and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ have mercy on us, forgive us, renew us and lead us, so that we may delight in you will and walk in your ways, to the glory of your Holy name. AMEN

just some thoughts to consider.

what's new?

This last week has been a strange and difficult time for me. Sooooo far from home - this week I felt it. After considering what it is that I have been missing, I realized that (although I miss seeing family and friends in MN whenever I feel like it) the toughest part for me is the continual new-ness.

There are of course times in our lives when the new-ness of something can be exciting, engaging and energizing (how's that for illiteration) Like so many firsts - a first kiss, a first roller coster ride, a first home run . . .

When one moves to a different place and the excitement of the new-ness wears off - where are we left, but to create new familiar things and places. It is the task that is now at hand for me. Creating new routes for running and biking, creating new relationships with the people around me and professionals that we have needs for like doctors, dentists, bankers, hair stylits (this is a very important one for me of course . . . ) and then there is the search for a church home.

If you are fortunate enough to be able to be paid to help form, facilitate, cultivate or curate a comunity of faith, where is it that you worship until the time comes for that comunity to journey together? I have been asked that question by a number of people. Where is it that Tim and I will find to gather with others for worship? (any ideas? tips?)

Sometimes new-ness can take it toll - and although this was a rough week of missing the familiar - I look forward to gathering more nuggets of information about the community of 92127, I am eager to see new homes, meet new people, see new faces, create new images, learn new languages, find new little shops and places to "run into" people . . .

For me (and maybe a little for Tim) the new-ness abounds.

just the beginning

It seems to me that the beginnings of things never start at the speed we want them too. Especially good things. It takes time and work and patience and a lot of prayer. Mostly for me right now it is patience. I guess prayer is a constant.

My husband, Tim, and I made the long trek from St. Paul, Minnesota to San Diego, California at the end of August/beginning of September, so that I could be a part of leading the development of a new ministry in northern San Diego County. But this trip did not begin in August, or even in July when I recieved the "unofficial" call. I am not sure I can pinpoint a time when this journey began, but I can at least say that there was a major jolt late last year when I decided to leave my position as a associate pastor in a large suburban church and enter into a place in the world which spoke the language of what I believed to be "common sense christianity".

Anyway - here we are now - at the "beginning" of the official work. And future posts will be about what we are doing, dreaming about, wondering, and another place to be in conversation about this mission/ministry work and where it takes us as a local/global - ancient/future - tending/sending community in Christ.